Monday, May 18, 2009

The Miracle Diet No One is Talking about

When you loose 50 pounds--at least when you loose it quickly--everyone with your "before" image still fresh in their mind wants to know, "What diet are you on?" I guess it's time I reveal The Secret--the diet that's brought me such miraculous results. I only wish it could bring me the kind of royalties The Secret brought its author! But, sadly, I'm afraid no one is going to fork over $26.95 for the hardback copy of the E.L.E.M. Diet: The Two Secrets to Amazing Weight Loss. The vast diet-buying public will not be breaking down Boarders doors, or Amazon's e-doors to get their copy because it has but one chapter and it's titled, Eat Less, Exercise More. In fact, that chapter consists of but one lonely sentence on one nearly blank page--and that sentence is identical to the chapter title. That's why E.L.E.M. is the miracle diet no one is talking about.

Perhaps I'll write s'more about how I've come to ELEM, but really, I don't think it would be all that interesting. No ancient Chinese formulas or herbal teas, no real tricks of any kind to speak of. The only "trick"--if you can call it that--is that I ELEM only 6 days a week. On my "free" day I EAEN. If I think of something helpful or interesting beyond that, I'll let you know.


  1. Hey Allen, thanks for sharing your thoughts. ELEM sounds like an ancient Biblical place. Would those who practice this discipline or come from its borders be ELEMBITES? I put the “B” in there for maximum PUNishment (you know me – I can’t resist).

  2. Wayne, Wayne, Wayne. Your puns bloggle my mind!
    So glad you visited my site. Wish we could have a couple cigars and a long talk about, well, whatever. Heading home now. More later...