Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Being (Upsidedown) and Nothingness (from B of A)

Yes, I am a real estate genius. I can make this claim because of the amazing and exquisite precision with which I can sense market conditions. Back in 2005 everyone else was guessing, wrongly, that the market would be going up forever, or, if not forever then at least for the rest of all our lifetimes. They figured that in a very few years they'd be taking 100k in equity out every other week for things like adding an atrium to the 2,000 sq.ft. spare bathroom which was way overdue for its third makeover. Wrong. I had them all beat by a suburban mile! And its all because my super market-sensitive gut gurgled up to my brain the message, "buy!" at the exact moment the market topped out. That happened on Midnight of the day we inked the escrow papers. In fact, if you were to look at a graph of real estate values in San Diego for the past ten years, you'd see an asterisk atop the almost-off-the-chart peak in 2005. The corresponding asterisk at the bottom of the page informs, "Randalls buy."

So here we are four years later and our little (576 sq. ft.) condo has lost so much value I'm thinking of offering it to the guy who collects cans in our alley. Several good trips to the recycler and he'd have enough for the down payment. Heck, I'd even help him. Perhaps he'd be interested in becoming a "flipper." In fact, he could buy it at its current market value--the equivalent of about 95,000 aluminium cans--and then sell it back to us, say for 105,000 aluminum cans, and turn a tidy little profit. We then would have neatly readjusted our mortgage to reflect reality. Hey--looks like I'm a re-fi genius too!

More updates in the months ahead as we seek to charm the "people" at B of A into the idea of a short sale. Currently their lips are sealed because we've somehow offended them by not missing any payments.

Coming soon, The Miracle of 1950!

59 years ago It happened-stop- More to follow this weekend-stop- I'll keep you posted-stop-You heard the man, STOP already!